I'm glad

I AM SO GLAD.

I AM SO SO SO GLAD THAT THIS IS ALMOST OVER :')

Wawa has been tested negative once (PLEASE ONCE MORE). And yesterday, kor got tested and he is negative. Mommy just received an message saying that she is negative too :'''')

I am so so grateful for this.

I don't know why I suddenly feel so fortunate and blessed. I am lucky that I can be alive, I am blessed that my family members are safe and healthy, I am fortunate that I am well and breathing, that I can feel the sun, that I can be in the comfort of my own house, that I can do exercise (seriously?! Yah a bit excited about it!), that I am just breathing and kicking!

Yesterday, GC called me and told me about his worries and paranoia. I didn't understand him initially and was starting to feel irritated. But i managed to calm myself down and talk to him calmly. He told me that
1. He doesn't like to be sandwiched. -- Min, don't do that. Be understanding. If he wants to spend his money on his family, let him do it because he is filial and guai like that. Don't force him to talk to his mother because what will happen from it? - What if his mom doesn't want me to go over, that it mean that he cannot already? Will I be upset with him if that happens? - Yes. So then what? Does he have to refute his mom's words and meet him? How will that make his mom feel? Am i putting him in a very difficult position? - Yes. Yes, i know i miss him a lot... He too. Trust me, he really misses me a lot. He even cried yesterday. He is such a precious and everything he is doing is for me and people around him. He is so giving...

2. He is very paranoid and worried about not following the 14-days quarantine... Better to be safe than sorry. He thinks that we should just follow the 14-days so that at least its "due diligence" and we can say we have done everything we can, right? Not very very rational (TO ME) but his feelings are the most important to me. His comfort and feeling of safety are the most important to me, that's all it matters min :)

Trust him, min. Trust him. Love him and trust him. I know I'm insecure. I think that if he doesn't want to meet, that it means that he doesn't love me... Is that really true or is that just my insecurity talking? Do we have proof for it? - No. Its my insecurity making me so uncomfortable about it. I know it, but i didn't want to admit it. Be secure min... Its not that one thing happens, then he doesn't love you anymore. Love is not like this. Love is about giving and thinking about the other party. Love is selfless. I need to start thinking about other people instead of just me and myself. Then, I can really love myself for all my flaws and love others selflessly.

Love,
Min